Interview Questions - Your right not to ...?!

 

Job interviewers typically ask questions like “Why do you want this job?” and “What are your greatest weaknesses?” Sometimes they pose more oddball queries such as “Why are tennis balls fuzzy?” and “If you were a kitchen utensil, which one would you be?”

But they'll occasionally go one step further and cross the line with questions like "Do you have children?" and "How much do you weigh?" 

Recently, a global enterprise performance expert and a best-selling business author, says he’s always astonished to hear that candidates have been asked such inappropriate questions.

“It can be very easy for interviewers to cross the line and ask questions that are inappropriate, and in many cases even illegal,” he says. “I believe that asking those questions in most cases [is] not done on purpose, but [rather] because of a lack of training and awareness, or even to break the ice and create a more friendly atmosphere.”

But the purpose of the job interview is to establish whether you are right for the job and company, and whether the company is right for you, Marr says. So the questions you’re asked should never go beyond the professional assessment of your skills, enthusiasm, and fit.

Here are 14 commonly asked interview questions that Marr says are inappropriate and even illegal in many parts of the world:

• Do you have any children?
• How old are you?
• What is your citizen status?
• What is your weight?
• What is your financial status or credit rating?
• Have you got any debts?
• What is your family status?
• Do you believe in God?
• Where do you go to church?
• Do you drink alcohol?
• What do you do on the weekends?
• What religious holidays do you observe?
• What is your race?
• Have you ever been arrested?

“The tricky thing is how to handle these questions,” Marr says. “Always remember that you don’t have to answer any questions in a job interview that are not related to your job, and you don’t have to answer questions about race, sex, religion, national origin, age, disability, family status, type of military discharge, or your financial position. You can even terminate the interview and leave.”

One way to respond: “I don't believe the question is relevant to assess my suitability for this job.”

But know that refusing to answer a question can create a very awkward atmosphere and even jeopardize any chance of securing the job, he says. "If you are happy to reveal the answers, you can simply answer the questions, but remember, it is your right not to.”

This is interesting. After reading this, you’ll never look at a banana in the same way again 

Bananas contain three natural sugars – sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fibber.


A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.

 Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world’s leading athletes.
But energy isn’t the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.


DEPRESSION:
According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS:

 Forget the pills – eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.


ANEMIA:

High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anaemia.

BLOOD PRESSURE:

This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.


BRAIN POWER:

200 students at a Twickenham school ( England ) were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.


CONSTIPATION:

 High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.


HANGOVERS:

One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.


HEARTBURN:



Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.


MORNING SICKNESS:

Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.



MOSQUITO BITES:



Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.


NERVES:



Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system..

 Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort foodlike chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.


ULCERS:



The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chroniclercases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.


TEMPERATURE CONTROL:



Many other cultures see bananas as a ‘cooling’ fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.



So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has FOUR TIMES the protein, TWICE the carbohydrate, THREE TIMES the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals..


It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, ‘A BANANA a day keeps the doctor away!’

CAN PEOPLE BE IN LOVE FOREVER?

Yes people can be in love forever. Being in love is meant to last forever. That is why people always use this phrase: ‘I will always love you’. Everybody wants to be in love forever. This is why people with commitment phobias don’t want to be in love. They don’t want to commit to one person forever. But what is wrong with committing to one person forever? You make better plans the two of you and keep building on your goals other than changing partners all the time, then you have to start afresh again and probably start new goals before you even finished the ones you had with the previous partner.

Also if you are just the two of you it’s easier to raise a family. It’s also easier for the kids. Starting one family then changing to the next and so on makes it hard for the kids.

Kids need to be brought up in a nice orderly environment. And it also means that the kids will have to keep changing mums and dads. One minute they are calling this person mum/dad, the next minute she/he’s gone and they are calling someone else mum/dad.

That is why relationships that are self-centered never last. If all you think about is yourself and your well being, then being in love isn’t for you. When you are in love with someone, their well being is equally as important as yours. Their happiness is equally as important as yours. Their security is equally as important as yours. Their support is equally as important as yours.

Being in love takes commitment. Without commitment, the love fades away. You just can’t sit back and say, ‘am in love’. You have to do something special for your partner and keep doing it. Simple romantic gestures such as filling the bathtub with nice herbal bubbly warm water, with candles all around, nice romantic music playing in the background, chocolates on the side of the bathtub and a warm towel. Then letting your partner go in the bathtub alone and enjoy it in private without you disturbing her or rushing to jump in with her. Give her some nice alone time to enjoy herself and feel appreciated. Afterwards when she’s through with the bathtub, she will reward you highly. Such things sustain the relationship and make being in love much more exciting.

Being in love is not just a feeling. It’s an act. Don’t just feel good about it, do something good about it. Being in love is a wonderful thing. Keep it wonderful by being wonderful to each other and the people around you.

4 TYPES OF LOVE

There is much confusion today on the subject of love because we are limited to only one English word (love) with a broad range of meanings. For example, if I said, "I love my wife, I love my dog, I love apple pie," obviously I am not talking about love in the same degree or definition.

In the New Testament period there were four major Greek words that were used.

Eros Love - A word that was not actually used in the New Testament but was alluded to. It meant physical passion; its gratification and fulfillment. The Greek word is probably not used in the New Testament because the origin of the word came from the mythical god Eros, the god of love. It is inferred in many scriptures and is the only kind of love that God restricts to a one-man, one-woman relationship within the bounds of marriage.

Storge Love - Storge is the natural bond between mother and infant, father, children, and kin. William Barclay states, "We cannot help loving our kith and kin; blood is thicker than water"

Phileo Love - Phileo love is a love of the affections. It is delighting to be in the presence of another, a warm feeling that comes and goes with intensity. The Bible encourages it but it is never a direct command. God never commands phileo since this type of love is based on the feelings. God Himself did not phileo the world but rather operated in agape love towards us. I cannot have a warm tender feeling toward an enemy but I can agape love them.

Agape Love - Agape love is God's kind of love. It is seeking the welfare and betterment of another regardless of how we feel. Agape does not have the primary meaning of feelings or affection. Jesus displayed it when he went to the cross and died for you and me regardless of how He felt.

In the gospels Jesus prayed, "Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt". Jesus sought the betterment of you and me, regardless of His feelings.

Matthew 7:12 states it this way, "So whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them; for this is the law and the prophets"

We can agape our enemies regardless of how we feel. If they are hungry, we can feed them; if they thirst we can give them a drink.

We can choose to seek the betterment and welfare of others regardless of how we feel.

Jesus was the greatest expression of love that ever came into the world, but it is never recorded that he ever said the words, "I love you!" Why?

Because 95 percent of all love is non-verbal.

Jesus did not love with just words but in deed and truth (1 Jn. 3:18).

If your actions contradict your words, what are people going to believe, your words or your actions? Your actions of course.

Vine's Expository Dictionary states, "Love can be known only from the actions it prompts" (p. 21).

tolerance in a relationship...

UVUMILIVU: Msingi wa mwisho ambao ni kama muhimili hasa pale ambapo misingi mingine ya MAWASILIANO, MAELEWANO, UAMINIFU na HESHIMA katika mahusiano imelega ama inaelekea kuporomoka ama kushindikana kabisa.

A simple definition of tolerance is one’s capacity for or the practice of recognizing and respecting the beliefs of others, and the capacity to endure hardship and pain.

Ever wonder how why there are relationships that last for a lifetime while your relationship is always at losing ends? There are a lot of factors that affects a relationship, however through research and careful observations, there is a factor that is not easily seen yet it is always evident especially when a relationship is at the power struggle stage to co-creation stage.

In connection to a couple’s relationship, tolerance is always a factor that is continuously affecting couples. It is not said much because the word itself connotes a negative impression. Another reason is that tolerance, most of the time, is misinterpreted as sacrifice for a relationship to work, however these small sacrifices can most of the time still results to break ups since the tolerance level of a person has already reached its limits.

No matter how romantic it sounds that in a relationship, two people are bonded as one, still we cannot erase the fact that there are two people working together to achieve a common goal; which is to be happy and to have a partner for the rest of their lives.

Therefore we cannot remove that fact that no matter how bonded a couple is, there are still issues of individual differences. The man came from a different perspective of experience and so is the woman. Thus in effect, there would always be some misunderstandings in the way and some habits that is not acceptable to the partner. This is where the level of tolerance comes along.

A partner at first would be able to tolerate small habits, gestures and acts of his or her partner. They would try to arrange it and talk about it. However at times, there are just some habits, gestures and acts that are really hard to change.

Thus, the partner must be patient in guiding and asking for the change that he or she wants. In here, the partner who is displeased is in the phase of tolerance. Slowly as they get to know each other, more and more additional habits, gestures, and acts; which he or she may not like, pushes into surface and adds more to the irritation and upset that he or she feels towards his or her partner.

At this phase, the level of tolerance is put into test. The person who is not satisfied with his or her partner slowly realizes that he or she is not the right person for him or her, in effect break up happens.

Based from this scenario, it can be synthesized that so as long as the person in a relationship who is displeased with his or her partner is still able to tolerate the habits, gestures, and acts of his or her partner; the relationship still goes on. However, when the level of displease already reaches the maximum amount of tolerance that a person can take, the relationship more or less would result to break up.

It is important for couples to take note that each one has the responsibility to know how your partner feels towards your habits, gestures and acts since this is one of the most aspect for a relationship to last.

Couples must remove in their thoughts and thinking the idea “if he or she cannot accept who I am, then that means that we are not meant to be with each other”.

Relationships have joys and responsibilities; on your end of the partnership, you must always be happy and responsible about those things that are happening inside your relationship. If only the both parties in a relationship would think this way, then the issue of tolerance would always be resolved which results to a relationship that would last a lifetime.

Remember – “Communicate, understand, trust, respect and tolerate”… be blessed in your relationships!

respect in a relationship...

Human beings crave intimacy, need to love and be loved. Yet people have much trouble doing so.

A healthy relationship commands respect. Unfortunately, most people do not understand this simple principle. Our tendency to disregard the feelings, concern and sense of importance of others tend to corrode our sound relationship with them.

But what is RESPECT in a relationship?

Consider the following scenarios:

·    We’re in conversation with others but we keep on enforcing your opinion, giving others no chance to express their viewpoints;

·    We found ourselves in an argument with the other but we refuse to listen to his/her reason;

·    We are angry with our wife and you yell at her in front of her colleagues;

·    We are angry at our husband and we let it out on his possessions;

·    We’ve become irresponsible about the sensitive information others have entrust upon us;

As you can see from the examples above, we give no regards to the sense of well-being and importance of the other. We did not care whether our acts will embarrass, hurt or disappoint—what we only care about is our own concern. The above-mentioned scenarios are just some of the things we do that shows our disrespect of others (be our wife, friends, colleagues, or anyone whom we’ve established a relationship). While our actions may be inadvertent, it still poses an attack to the self-worth of the aggrieved person; and as a consequence, miscommunication, misunderstanding and unnecessary conflict ensues.

From many sources and many experts, we have some basic rules of relationships. This is by no means an exhaustive list. But it's a start. Print them out and practice them in your life. I won't test you on them—but life will.

·    Give respect, and you will be respected in return. Deny respect and you’ll be despised. Inside and outside the relationship, act in ways so that your partner always maintains respect for you. Mutual respect is essential to a good relationship.

• Know your partner's beliefs about relationships. Different people have different and often conflicting beliefs about relationships. You don't want to fall in love with someone who expects lots of dishonesty in relationships; they'll create it where it doesn't exist.
• Don't confuse sex with love. Especially in the beginning of a relationship, attraction and pleasure in sex are often mistaken for love.
• Know your needs and speak up for them clearly. A relationship is not a guessing game. Many people, men as well as women, fear stating their needs and, as a result, camouflage them. The result is disappointment at not getting what they want and anger at a partner for not having met their (unstated) needs. Closeness cannot occur without honesty. Your partner is not a mind reader.
• View yourselves as a team, which means you are two unique individuals bringing different perspectives and strengths. That is the value of a team - your differences.
• Know how to manage differences; it's the key to success in a relationship. Disagreements don't sink relationships. Name-calling does. Learn how to handle the negative feelings that are the unavoidable by product of the differences between two people.
• If you don't understand or like something your partner is doing, ask about it and why he or she is doing it. Talk and explore, don't assume.

·   Accept someone as he is; don’t push him to be someone he’s not;

• Don’t judge a person by his outer form: this can give you a very wrong picture about such person.
• Solve problems as they arise. Don't let resentments simmer. Most of what goes wrong in relationships can be traced to hurt feelings, leading partners to erect defences against one another and to become strangers. Or enemies.
• Learn to negotiate. Modern relationships no longer rely on roles cast by the culture. Couples create their own roles, so that virtually every act requires negotiation. It works best when good will prevails. Because people's needs are fluid and change over time, and life's demands change too, good relationships are negotiated and renegotiated all the time.
• Listen; truly listen, to your partner's concerns and complaints without judgment. Much of the time, just having someone listen is all we need for solving problems. Plus it opens the door to confiding. And emphaty is crucial. Look at things from your partner's perspective as well as your own.
• Work hard at maintaining closeness. Closeness doesn't happen by itself. In its absence, people drift apart and are susceptible to affairs. A good relationship isn't an end goal; it's a lifelong process maintained through regular attention.
• Take a long-range view. Amarriage is an agreement to spend a future together. Check out your dreams with each other regularly to make sure you're both on the same path. Update your dreams regularly.
• Never underestimate the power of good grooming.
• Sex is good. Pillow talk is better. Sex is easy, intimacy is difficult. It requires honesty, openness, self-disclosure, confiding concerns, fears, sadness’s as well as hopes and dreams.

Respect, respect, respect … mahusiano siyo mchezo! Watu wengi wanayachukulia "lightly" ndiyo sababu kubwa ya ndoa za siku hizi kutodumu!