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Monday, April 21, 2014

Uaminifu katika Mahusiano...

Wasalaam wapendwa wote,

Happy Blue Monday kwenu nyote na kila la kheri katika kuijenga nchi yetu na maisha binafsi kwa kila mmoja wetu.

Tukianza wiki mpya na mwezi mpya, nawapa pole ndugu zetu wa Kenya kwa mashambulio yanayoendelea dhidi yao, Mungu awalinde.

Poleni wapenzi wa Italia kwa kapu la magoli katika Fainali za kombe la mataifa ya Ulaya zilizomalizika jana, hakika timu ya Hispania ilistahili kuwa mabingwa! 4-0!

Wapendwa wataalam wetu wa tiba na hasa madaktari, kauli ya mkuu mtakuwa mmeisikia, chonde chonde tuweke utaifa mbele kwa maslahi ya maskini na wale wanaoteseka zaidi na walio wengi.

Wiki hii basi nitaendele na tafsiri zetu za misingi bora kwa mahusiano na ndoa bora!

UAMINIFU KATIKA MAHUSIANO..
Uaminifu ni msingi wa mahusiano yenye ukaribu, salama na ya mafanikio. Uaminifu ni lazima upatikane kwa stahili, uenziwe na kulindwa na uwe wa kudumu!

Kujenga uaminifu na kuamini kwamba mpenzi wako ni mwaminifu kwako siyo mambo rahisi hasa kwa wale ambao wamewahi kusalitiwa uaminifu wao. Hili ni tatizo kubwa katika jamii zetu kwani kusalitiana limekuwa jambo la kawaida!
Pale imani yako inapo vunjwa inakuwa vigumu kuweza kuwepo tena katika mahusiano yako. Makala hii itakusaidia kuelewa njia ambazo zitakusaidia kurudisha imani hiyo.
Uaminifu lazima uwe jambo la kila wakati na siku zote ili mahusiano yaweze kudumu.

Uaminifu ni muhimu katika mahusiano ya aina zote uwe wa mapenzi, kifamilia na hata katika urafiki wa kawaida.

Faida gani mtu anapata anapokuwa mwaminifu katika mahusiano?

·         Kwa kuanzia, kuwa katika mahusiano ya kimapenzi kuna faida nyingi kwa mwili, watu walio katika mahusiano bora ya mapenzi huishi maisha marefu na kufurahia afya njema kuliko wale wasiokuwa katika mahusiano ya aina hiyo. Faida hii haina pingamizi kwa sababu ya ukweli kwamba watu wanaokuwa katika mahusiano  ya karibu wanajijengea hisia na nguvu fulani ambayo huwasaidia kusaidiana na kujaliana wakati wa shida. Siyo tu kwamba watu walioko katika mahusiano ya aina hii wanaishi muda mrefu lakini pia ni kweli kwamba wanakuwa na furaha na wanaridhika na maisha kuliko wale wanaoshindwa kukaa katika mahusiano.

·         Pili, kuwa katika mahusiano mazuri ya mapenzi kunasaidia katika mambo mbalimbali ya kimahitaji. Kusaidiana katika mahitaji mbalimbali baina ya wapenzi ni njia nzuri ya kuwa na maendeleo. Watu wawili wanaoshirikiana pamoja mara nyingi watakuwa na maisha mazuri zaidi ya yule anayefanya peke yake. Unapokuwa na mtu karibu wa kusaidiana naye katika mahitaji ni rahisi kupata mafanikio.

·        Tatu, Watu walio katika mahusiano mazuri wanapata msaada wa kijamii; kwa maana ya kuwa na mtu karibu ambaye anajali mahitaji yako ya msingi na hisia zako. Kuwa na msaada wa aina hii kuna faida nyingi, mojawapo muhimu ni kuweza kufanya maamuzi ya busara  bila kuwa na mtindio wa mawazo na hofu ama mashaka.

·        Nne, kuwa na mwenza katika maisha hufanya maisha kuwa ya faraja zaidi. Kuwa na mtu ambaye mnaweza kushirikiana mambo madogo madogo ya maisha kama kuangalia Tv, kutembea, kula pamoja ni muhimu; inaboresha mahusiano na mara nyingi watu walio katika mahusiano ya aina hii wamekuwa na maisha bora zaidi.

·        Tano, Mahusiano ni muhimu kwa sababu wapenzi wana kawaida ya kuangaliana tabia zao hasa zile ambazo ni haribifu, na wamekuwa na kawaida ya kuonyana ama kushauriana kuacha kufanya mambo mabaya na tabia mbaya. Kwa mfano watu walio katika mahusiano ya karibu wamekuwa na tabia ya kujaribu kuwashauri wapenzi wao kuacha kuvuta sigara, kupunguza pombe, kuacha kutumia madawa ya kulevya nk.

·        Mwisho, Watu walio katika mahusiano bora ya kimapenzi wanafanya mapenzi mara nyingi zaidi kuliko wale walio pekee. Kufanya mapenzi mara kwa mara, kimpangilio ni muhimu kwa afya bora ya mwili na akili. *Ni muhimu kuzingatia kwamba kufanya huko mapenzi ambako ni bora kwa afya ya mwili siyo kubadilisha wanaume ama wanawake, ila ni kwa mwenza wako ama mke au mume na katika hali ya maelewano, uhuru na amani lakini pia kwa utaratibu unaostahili ndiyo upelekea kuleta faida hiyo.

Baada ya kusema yote hayo, ni ukweli kwamba mahusiano mazuri baina ya wapenzi huwa na faida nyingi kwa watu wenye bahati ya kupata mtu wa kumpenda na hatimaye nao kupendwa pia.

Hatua muhimu katika kujenga uaminifu zitafuata…

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Never Cheat your Spouse:


14 REASONS TO NEVER CHEAT ON YOUR SPOUSE

Cheating seems to be so prevalent today that the question isn’t who is cheating but rather – who isn’t?

1. You will become a liar.

It’s bad enough to bear the title of “Cheater,” but if you cheat, you will also wear the hat of “Liar.” Cheating cannot occur without deceit on some level and normally the white lies in the beginning become full-fledged lies at the end. “I’m working late at the office tonight” may be a half-truth but you’ll need to redefine the word “working” to silence your compromised conscience. Cheating and lying go hand in hand.

2. You will get caught.

It may not be today or tomorrow. But eventually, your affair will come to light. Your world will come crashing down on you. If you are fortunate, the story of your indiscretion may avoid the evening news or the front page of your local paper, but your circle of friends will know your deeds. And everyone likes to share juicy news.

3. You will disappoint everyone.

Everyone. Your spouse. Your friends. Your co-workers. Your parents. Your nephew. Your children. God. Yourself.

4. You will be a bad example.

We're either a good example or a bad example in all things that we do. Cheating is a not only a very bad example in relationships but brings with it a cloud of doubt that hovers over you in other areas of your life. If you cheated in one area, would you cheat in another? Cheating communicates to everyone that you took the easy road. It tells others that you were willing to cut corners in your most primary relationship. It reveals that you were not willing to do the hard work and get the help you needed. No one ever admires a cheater. Even if you did a lifetime of good, this one bad deed can erase it all.

5. You will lose your moral authority.

It’s hard to tell your children (or others) to do the right thing when they know you didn’t. Saying “Do as I say, not as I do” is the fastest way to lose the respect of others. Not only will you lose their respect, you’ll lose yours. Every moral judgment you make in the future will be weighed against your cheating action of the past. It doesn’t mean you can’t speak the truth in the future, it just means that few will listen to you.

6. You will create trust issues for your spouse.

Forever. You will single-handedly damage the precious self-esteem of the one you promised to love. Every relationship they have after you will be one that they struggle to trust. If that were not enough, you will rock the world of children and cause them to question the stability of every meaningful relationship they have. For children, their parents relationship is their anchor and cheating cuts the line.

7. You will lose your standard of living.

Depending on what you do for a living, you may lose your job. Many lose their home. Most end up with enormous court fees since cheating is usually the precursor to divorce. Betrayed spouses have a way of making you pay and that payment is always expensive. Every check you write is a constant reminder of your foolishness.

8. You will spend years trying to rebuild your life.

Literally years. Even if you somehow weathered the storm financially, you will find it takes years for you to recover emotionally. It takes years for you to restore certain friendships, if you even do. It takes years for you to rebuild your character. It takes years to rebuild trust. It takes years to truly forgive yourself.

9. You will lose relationships.

You will lose a LOT of relationships. Lifelong friends will walk away. Close friends that you have helped countless times will not be around to help you. Even some family members who are supposed to love you no matter what will vanish. A cheater can end up living a very lonely life. It’s hard for many people who used to call you friend to get past that skunk smell of disappointment.

10. You will increase your chances of getting an STD.

Sexually transmitted diseases run rampant among promiscuous people. But your paramour is “clean,” right? After all, they told you so. And if there is one thing we all know – we can trust a cheater and their word. As the saying goes, “There is honor among thieves.” One helpful thought may be to assume that everyone but your spouse has an STD. That should curb your appetite for destruction.

11. The grass is not greener on the other side.

The “grass is greener” idea is a common misconception. Because we have never been on that grass, we assume it must be better than where we currently stand. It’s not. In fact, though it may look greener from a distance – once you get there and make yourself comfortable, something interesting happens – the grass changes color. This usually happens soon after you get caught.

12. You will then see that patch of land differently.

You will also have a strange desire for the green grass you left… except now it is burned and won’t let you back. The best way to enjoy green grass is to water your own yard. Would you want this done to you? Thieves like to steal wallets but hate when it’s done to them. If we all lived by the Golden Rule (“Treat others the way you want to be treated.”) most of life’s problems would be solved overnight. Think about this action as if it were being done to you. The problem is that it requires thought and thinking is often the last thing a cheater has on his/her mind.

13. You will eventually regret this decision.

In the heat of the moment, cheating appears to make sense. It feels good and sometimes even feels right. Feelings are deceitful. Soon afterward, your eyes will be opened and you will regret that you ever partook of the forbidden fruit. Don’t we all have enough regrets in our lives? Why add another one – particularly one that can only destroy everything you have worked so hard to build? Your home may not be perfect but it sure beats living in a tent.

14. The pain outweighs the gain.

No one ever says from their deathbed, I wish I had an affair. No one ever leaves their lawyer’s office with a smile on their face – grateful for the experience. No one loses dear friends and is glad they have one less Christmas card to receive this year. The loss is immeasurable. The pain can be unbearable. Entire kingdoms can be lost for a few minutes of pleasure. It is just not worth it.

I’ve come to learn that we all fall, just in different ways.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

What you did'nt know about Comrade Robert Gabriel Mugabe


Robert Mugabe, 90, is undoubtedly a controversial figure, but many are familiar only with the details of his most public life. Both his childhood and adult life are filled with surprises, many of which influenced decisions during his numerous terms as Zimbabwe’s president. Sources: CNN.com, PolicyMic.com, FunTrivia.com, Afri-Culture.com, Wikipedia.org, Pbs.org, Rense.com, Slate.com, Citypress.co.za, Books.google.ps

Mugabe is the product of a religious upbringing:

Both of Robert Mugabe’s parents were extremely religious, and strict with their son. Throughout his childhood, he attended Jesuit school, and credits an Irish priest as one of his most influential mentors in his youth.

Mugabe has a strong background in education:

Many are aware that Mugabe has always been a strong proponent of education. Zimbabwe’s literacy rate reached the highest of any African country during his presidency. This is in large part due to the fact that Mugabe worked as a school teacher prior to beginning his political career, first teaching in Ghana (he also taught in Zambia) and then returning to Zimbabwe to join the revolution against the white government of Rhodesia.

He has seven university degrees:

Six of Mugabe’s university degrees were actually earned while he was doing distance learning in prison. They cover a broad range of topics including education, economics, administration, and law. Degrees include a Bachelor of Laws and Master’s of Laws from the University of London’s external program, earned during his stint in a Salisbury prison.

His first child died:

The first and only child Mugabe had with the late First Lady Sally Hayfron (pictured above at their wedding), Michael Nhamodzenyika, died at age three from cerebral malaria in 1966. Mugabe was informed of this from behind prison bars, and was devastated.

After his release from prison, he escaped Zimbabwe with the help of a white nun:

Though the Rhodesians did release Mugabe from prison, he was not supposed to leave the country. A white nun helped him to cross into Mozambique, where he was able to rejoin the revolutionary armies.

He was a Nobel Peace Prize nominee:

In 1981, Mugabe was on the short list for the Nobel Peace Prize for his initial stance about reconciliation following Zimbabwe’s independence and his election as the country’s first president. He said, “Our people, young and old, men and women, black and white, living and dead, are, on this occasion, being brought together in a new form of national unity that makes them all Zimbabweans.”

He had an extramarital affair while his wife was dying of cancer:

While his first wife was struggling with her cancer, Mugabe started up with his private secretary, Grace. When it came out that she was pregnant with his child, he ignored popular opinion and married her in 1996.

Mugabe traveled to Italy despite a E.U. travel ban:

The European Union issued a travel ban against Mugabe that would prevent him from entering any member countries. However, he was able to subvert the ban on religious grounds in March 2013 in order to attend the inauguration of Pope Francis in Italy.

Some honors he received have been revoked:

As the number of human rights violations perpetrated by Mugabe have increased, some of his honors have been revoked. Queen Elizabeth II rescinded his knighthood in 2008. The Hunger Project took back his 1988 award of the Africa Prize for Leadership for the Sustainable End of Hunger. Numerous universities have revoked honorary degrees, including Michigan State University, University of Massachusetts, and the University of Edinburgh.

He led ZANU:

In 1963, the Zimbabwe African National Union was formed to fight white colonial rule in the country. Influenced by the framework and successes of South Africa’s Pan Africanist Congress, it held a military wing, ZANLA, and also touted Communist/Maoist views. The group split in the ’70s, and Mugabe headed the militant faction. When he was elected as prime minister in 1980, ZANU became ZANU-PF (Patriotic Front), the ruling political party.

He is an accused racist:

Mugabe has criticized for having bigoted views toward whites, especially the citizens of his country. He was condemned for seizing white-owned farms in Zimbabwe without compensation. On the 22nd anniversary of Zimbabwe’s independence, Mugabe proclaimed in a speech: “The white man is here as a second citizen: you are number one.” His rhetoric has drawn many detractors.

His LGBT views:

This may come as no real shock: Mugabe hates the gays. Here are some things he has been quoted as saying: “Worse than pigs, goats, and birds.” “If you take two men and lock them in a house for five years and tell them to come with two children and they fail to do that, then we will chop off their heads.” Since 1987, he has enforced sodomy laws against homosexual acts.

His father abandoned him:

In January 2014, at his sister Bridget’s burial, Mugabe informed mourners during a 67-minute eulogy that his father had abandoned the family in 1934, after his oldest brother Michael’s death. Gabriel Mugabe Matibiri started a whole new family and bore new children.

He won the lottery:

In 2000, Mugabe won the state lottery, raking in about 100,000 Zimbabwe dollars (the equivalent of $2,600 American dollars). His name was reportedly drawn from thousands of contestants, and many people were stunned. The lottery was organized by the Zimbabwe Banking Corp. About half the country’s population is unemployed.

Mugabe at the movies:

A film star? Well…if you’ve seen the 2005 American thriller, “The Interpreter” with Sean Penn and Nicole Kidman, then you might know Mugabe’s role. A U.N. interpreter stumbles upon an assassination plot orchestrated by the fictional president of an African country. The fictional President Zuwanie” and Mugabe share many traits, as does the faux country of Matobo with Zimbabwe. The film was swiftly banned in Zimbabwe, deemed “anti-Zimbabwean.”

He plans to run for president again in 2018:

Mugabe won the most recent election in Zimbabwe in 2013 with 61 percent of the vote, but it is widely believed that voter fraud occurred. Despite this, and despite his advanced age, Mugabe has announced his intention to run again for election in 2018 for the office that he has held since 1987.

Happy Birthday, Mugabe:

Mugabe received a one-ton royal throne for his birthday, studded with gold and diamonds. He turned 90 on Feb. 21, 2014. Three throne crafters reportedly took two years of intensive work to carve the chair out of a block of stone.