Abuses of being in love..

 1. Infatuation

This is where you so much want to be in love, that when you are with someone you mistake anything they do for you as they are being in love with you. There is a very fine line between being in love and being infatuated. Being in love is an action thing. You are assured all the time that someone loves you from what they do. Even when they do something wrong, they make it up to you and don’t continue doing it. Infatuation is in the head. Your belief of being in love outweighs anything bad that the person might do to you. And the small nice things the person does once in a while assures your mind that you are right. You assume that you are really in love even if you in actual fact aren’t. You ignore the bad signals and accept the good signals.

2. Lust

 This is where your desire for sex over runs your well being and you mistake that as being in love. You don’t care about anything else as long as you are constantly having sex. You are so focused on your sexual desires that even when the person is not right for you, it doesn’t matter as long as you are having sex. Even if you know that what you are doing is wrong, you don’t care (as in teacher-student relationships). Your desire to have sex with each other outweighs the consequences that might follow. In some cases your well being deteriorates such that you gain a lot of weight and you don’t care as long as you are having sex with that person. You neglect your commitment to your body and livelihood.

Most people are in lust and just want to have sex all the time. They don’t have time for anything else. But unfortunately we live in a world where you can’t spend the entire day after day having sex. You have to live, you have to survive and you have to enjoy life doing other things. And you have to associate with other people.

3. Sacrificial

This is where you know someone hurts you all the time but you hope he or she will change. You sacrifice your happiness for something that isn’t there. Most people in this situation keep saying ‘he or she will change’. Even though deep down they know the person won’t change, they hope that he or she might change. They are scared to move on and be alone. With some girls they feel that if they leave the guy, they won’t find someone else. They feel no one else will love them so they hope that the guy they are with might change his behaviour. And despite the mistreatment, there are also some good things that they like about the guy. Most guys who allow this to happen feel that the girl is too good for them and they are lucky enough that she’s with them despite the fact that she hurts him.

People are naturally lazy finding the person that is right for them because it involves risk. They don’t want to risk being turned down as this will make them feel unwanted.

Everybody wants to be loved and wanted but sometimes you can never know if someone loves and wants you until you get close to them and let them know how you feel about them.

People should realize that rejection is normal and not everyone will love you but also not everyone will hate you.

You can’t be with someone you know doesn’t love you just because you are scared that no one will ever love you.

The time wasted being with someone you don’t love could have been spent finding someone you love

Good things only happen to those who look for them, and not to those who wait for good things to happen to them.

Life is unfair to those who don’t play fair. If you waste your time with someone you don’t want or who doesn’t want you, then you will definitely have problems in your relationships and life.

4. Foolish love

This is where someone hurts you and you blame yourself. It follows the phrase ‘it’s my fault’. Even though the evidence is there that he is deliberately hurting you, you keep blaming yourself; ‘Maybe I don’t love him/her enough’.

If someone can’t love you for who you are and what you give them, then they won’t love you no matter how much you try to change.

Most people in this situation are those that are insecure or have low self-esteem. They don’t believe they are good enough for their partner. They feel their partner is justified to hurt them because they don’t listen to them or fulfil their need. It follows phrases like ‘I asked for it, only if I had kept quiet this wouldn’t have happened’.

It’s called foolish love because the person involved is stubborn. He/she doesn’t want to acknowledge their partner’s wrong doing. They will even go to great lengths to protect their partner’s cruelty to them. For example: a woman being beaten by her partner will cover her bruises or injuries. When asked what happened, they will probably say ‘I fell down’. If pressured they will say ‘It’s my fault’. It’s never the partner’s fault. Also the fact that their partner is sometimes good to them, makes them want their partner more because they miss the good things which the rarely get. The little attention and nice things they get, means a lot more to them than to a girl who gets these things all the time.

Thus they protect the little attention and good things they get from their partner by blaming themselves for every wrong that their partner does. That is why it’s so important that before you live with someone you should learn to live alone, because, if you can’t learn to live on your own you fall into this trap. You end up having to put up with these abuses of being in love.

Being in love is a good thing and it should stay a good thing. If it’s not good, then it’s not love and it’s time for you to move on.

Don’t put yourself in misery just for the sake of an idea. Live the idea, don’t just imagine it and pretend it’s happening when it’s not.

Exams, Test & Treatment-STDs

Exams and Tests

 

Some STDs can be diagnosed without any tests at all (for example, pubic lice). Other STDs require a blood test or a sample of any unusual fluid (such as an abnormal discharge from the vagina or the penis for gonorrhea or chlamydia) to be analyzed in a lab to help establish a diagnosis. Some tests are completed while a person waits; other tests require a few days before a person may obtain the results (for example, syphilis).

Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) Treatment

Self-Care at Home

 

Home treatment of STDs is not recommended because prescription medications are usually necessary.

Medical Treatment

 

The treatment of an STD varies depending on the type of STD. Some STDs require a person to take antibiotic medication either by mouth or by injection; other STDs require a person to apply creams or special solutions on the skin. Often, reexamination by a doctor is necessary after the treatment to confirm that the STD is completely gone.

Some STDs, such as genital herpes and HIV (which leads to AIDS), cannot be cured, only controlled with medication.

STDs - When to Seek Medical Care

 

A medical examination may be necessary if a person believes he or she may have an STD or if he or she may have been exposed to someone with an STD. Being seen by a doctor as soon as possible after exposure to an STD is important; these infections can easily spread to others and can have serious complications.

Go to a hospital's emergency department in these circumstances if:

• an STD problem worsens;
  
• a fever develops with other symptoms; or
  
• if it will be a couple of days before the individual can be evaluated by a doctor.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) Sympoms..

 

Common STDs have a variety of symptoms (if symptoms develop at all) and many different complications, including death.  

Symptoms of STDs caused by bacteria:

Chancroid Symptoms

 •Are not common in the United States but common in developing countries.

•Symptoms include painful ulcers on the genitals.

•Can be confused with syphilis or herpes

•Is treatable with antibiotics

Chlamydia symptoms

 •Most common of all STDs caused by bacteria.

•Cause no symptoms in about 80% of women and 50% of men

•When symptoms are present, commonly there is discharge from the vagina or the penis, and burning or pain during urination.

•Is transmitted through vaginal, oral, or anal sexual contact

•Ectopic pregnancy and infertility for women are potential serious complications.

•Is treatable with antibiotics

 Gonorrhea symptoms

 •Discharge from the vagina or the penis

•Over 50% of infected women have no symptoms, but they can still transmit the disease to others.

•Painful urination

•Ectopic pregnancy, pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), infertility for women, Fitzhugh-Curtis syndrome (perihepatitis) and death are potential serious complications.

•Is treatable with antibiotics  

Granuloma inguinale (donovanosis) symptoms

 •Not common in the U.S.

•Symptoms are painless genital ulcers in the groin area.

•Is treatable with antibiotics, usually for three or more weeks

Lymphogranuloma venereum

 •Not common in the U. S.

•Symptoms are abscesses (buboes) in the groin, rectum or other areas; fistulas that drain pus may occur and are treatable with antibiotics.

Syphilis

•Symptoms are mild and often go undetected initially

•Starts with a painless genital ulcer that goes away on its own

•Rash, fever, headache, achy joints

•Is treatable with antibiotics

•More serious complications associated with later stages of the disease if undetected and untreated

Symptoms of STDs caused by viruses

Genital herpes

 •Recurring outbreaks of blister-like sores on the genitals

•Can be transmitted from a mother to her baby during birth

•Reduction in frequency and severity of blister outbreaks with treatment but not complete elimination of infection.

•Can be transmitted by a partner who has herpes even if no blisters are present.

Genital warts

•Caused by a virus related to skin warts, human papillomavirus (HPV)

•Small, painless bumps in the genital or anal areas (sometimes in large clusters that look like cauliflower)

•Various treatments available (for example, freezing or painting the warts with medication)

•Vaccines are available against the most common types of HPV

Hepatitis

•Hepatitis B and D are most often associated with sexual contact, hepatitis A, C, E are less frequently transmitted by sexual contact.

•Both may be transmitted via contact with blood; for hepatitis B, sexual transmission is believed to be responsible for 30% of the cases worldwide.

•The hepatitis B virus can cause both an initial (acute) and a chronic form of liver inflammation. Only 50% of acute infections with the hepatitis B virus produce symptoms. The initial phase of infection lasts a few weeks, and in most people (90%-95%), the infection clears.

•Acute infection can cause yellowish skin and eyes, fever, achy, tired (flu-like symptoms).

•Severe complications in some people, including cirrhosis and liver cancer may occur in a small percent of individuals infected with HBV.

•Treatments are available and remission is possible with some aggressive medications.

•Immunizations are available to prevent hepatitis B.

HIV/AIDS

•Spread primarily by sexual contact and from sharing IV needles

•Can be transmitted at the time a person becomes infected with other STDs

•No specific symptoms or physical signs confirm HIV infection.

•The average time from infection to the development of symptoms related to immunosuppression (decreased functioning of the immune system) is 10 years.

•Fatigue, night sweats, chills, or fever lasting several weeks, headaches, and cough may occur a few weeks after contracting the virus initially.

•Serious complications of AIDS include unusual infections or cancers, weight loss, intellectual deterioration (dementia), and death.

•No current cure but medications are available to slow disease progression.

Molluscum contagiosum

 •Small (2-5mm) raised areas (papules) on the skin

•Contagious, usually by direct skin to skin contact

•Self-limited over months to years; treated with some topical creams

•Often cryotherapy (freezing) or surgical removal is performed

Symptoms of STDs caused by protozoan

Trichomonas

•Frothy vaginal discharge with a strong odor

•Treated with antibacterial/antiprotozoal medicines

 Symptoms of STDs* caused by fungi

Jock itch (genital itching or Tenia cruris)* (not always an STD)

 •Itchy groin skin, sometimes has a reddish color

•Is treated with topical antifungal medicines

Yeast infection (Candidiasis)* (not always an STD)

•Cheese-like vaginal discharge or whitish exudates sometimes with a reddish hue to the skin; it may occur around the foreskin of infected males; common symptoms are itching and burning sensation of the vagina or penis.

•Is treated with topical antifungal medicines in most cases

Symptoms of STDs caused by parasites

Pubic lice

•Very tiny bugs that are found in pubic hair, sometimes referred to as "crabs"

•Can be picked up from clothing or bedding

•First noticed as itching in the pubic area

•Are treatable with creams, anti-lice agents, and combing

Scabies

•Skin infestation caused by a tiny mite

•Highly contagious

•Intense itching is the primary symptom, which worsens at night

•Spread primarily by sexual contact or from contact with skin, infested sheets, towels, or furniture

•Is treated with creams

Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) Causes

 Depending on the disease, STDs can be spread with any type of sexual activity. STDs are most often caused by viruses and bacteria. The following is a list of the most common STDs, their causes and other infections (see STDs with asterisk mark*) that may be transmitted on occasion by sexual activity, but are frequently not considered primarily to be an STD by many investigators:

STDs caused by bacteria

•Chancroid (Haemophilus ducreyi)

•Chlamydia (Chlamydia trachomatis)

•Gonorrhea (Neisseria gonorrhea)

•Granuloma inguinale (Calymmatobacterium granulomatis)

•Lymphogranuloma venereum (Chlamydia trachomatis)

• Syphilis (Treponema pallidum)

STDs caused by viruses

•Genital herpes (herpes simplex virus)

• Genital warts (human papillomavirus virus [HPV])

•Hepatitis B and D, and infrequently, A*,C*,E* (hepatitis viruses, types A-E)

• HIV/AIDS (human immunodeficiency virus [HIV virus])

•Molluscum contagiosum* (poxvirus)

STD caused by protozoan

• Trichomoniasis (Trichomonas vaginalis)

STD's* caused by fungi

 • Jock itch (Tenia cruris)*

•Yeast infections* (Candida albicans)

STD's caused by parasites

 •Pubic lice or crabs (Pediculosis pubis)

•Scabies*  Sarcoptes scabiei

Keep learning...

Sexually Transmitted Diseases Overview (STDs)

 

Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs, venereal diseases) are among the most common infectious diseases in the World today. STDs are sometimes referred to as sexually transmitted infections, since these conditions involve the transmission of an infectious organism between sex partners.

More than 20 different STDs have been identified, and about 19 million men and women are infected each year in the United States alone every year, according to the CDC (2010).

Depending on the disease, the infection can be spread through any type of sexual activity involving the sex organs, the anus, or the mouth; an infection can also be spread through contact with blood during sexual activity.

STDs are infrequently transmitted by any other type of contact (blood, body fluids or tissue removed from an STD infected person and placed in contact with an uninfected person); however, people that share unsterilized needles markedly increase the chance to pass many diseases, including STD's (especially hepatitis B), to others.

Some diseases are not considered to be officially an STD (for example, hepatitis types A, C, E) but are infrequently noted to be transferred during sexual activity. Consequently, some authors include them as STD's, others do not. Consequently, lists of STD's can vary, depending on whether the STD is usually transmitted by sexual contact or only infrequently transmitted.

• STDs affect men and women of all ages and backgrounds, including children. 
• STDs have become more common in recent years, partly because people are becoming sexually active at a younger age, are having multiple partners, and do not use preventive methods to lessen their chance of acquiring an STD.
• People can pass STDs to sexual partners even if they themselves do not have any symptoms.
• Frequently, STDs can be present but cause no symptoms, especially in women (for example, chlamydia, genital herpes or gonorrhea). This can also occur in some men.
  
• Health problems and long-term consequences from STDs tend to be more severe for women than for men. Some STDs can cause pelvic infections such aspelvic inflamatory diseases (PID), which may cause a tubo-ovarian abscess. Theabscess, in turn, may lead to scarring of the reproductive organs, which can result in anectopic pregnancy (a pregnancy outside the uterus),   infetility or even death for a woman.
  
  Human papillomavirus infection (HPV infection), an STD, is a known cause of cancer of the cervix.
• Many STDs can be passed from a mother to her baby before, during, or immediately after birth.
• Because the method of becoming infected is similar with all STDs, a person often obtains more than one pathogenic organism at a time. For example, many people (about 50%) are infected at a single sexual contact with both gonorrhea and chlamydia.

To be continued...

WHY DO YOU NEED TO BE IN LOVE?

 

People need to be in love because it’s a good thing. But not everyone will be in love. Different commitments and phobias have hindered some people of the wonderful gift of being in love. But still other people are in love but not to their partners but to their work, car, boat, dog, self etc.

Being in love with someone gives you internal happiness. You know you are not alone. There’s someone out there who wants the same things as you and who enjoys the same things as you and who supports you and takes care of you and loves you and sleeps with you.

When people are in love, they are more organized and focused. A lot of energy and time is wasted thinking about sex and looking for a partner. But when you in love, you don’t have to look for a partner, you don’t have to look for love, you don’t have to spend a lot of time looking for sex and thinking about sex.

Your partner provides you these things, thus you have more time to do other things. It’s like a heavy burden has been lifted off your shoulder. You can then spend that time doing good for mankind. ‘A happy man has happy thoughts’. Being in love is a wonderful thing and most people should fall in love. But the desire to be in love should not outweigh the readiness to be in love.

If being in love is rushed, it crushes. You need to really know the person before you commit to them and totally open up to them. Unfortunately we live in a cruel world where some people don’t have honest intentions. Something like being in love can be manipulated for their own benefit, which would not benefit you but bring you misery. If someone loves you that means they are saying that they are not going anywhere. Thus there is no need to rush for anything.

Being in love should not be used as means to take advantage of someone neither should it be used to ruin someone’s life.

Being in love should be enjoyed, appreciated and looked forward to.

Can you be in love with anyone?

Unfortunately you can not be in love with anyone. We are all different. We want different things; we need different things; we like different things; we have different upbringings, different desires, different tastes, different goals and aspirations.

Thus there is no way that you can be in love with anyone unless you keep changing your personality to suit them but even then, your true self will always come out and you then fall out of love with them or they fall out of love with you.

But most importantly, it is not really necessary to be in love with anyone. You don’t need three billion ladies or guys. You only need one and there is always someone for everyone. No matter how pathetic you are there is someone for you. But most people abuse this. They know there is someone for them but they don’t try to be a better person for someone.

It takes two to tango.

So just as much as you want someone good thing for you, you should make yourself appealing, to someone.

A lot of relationships fail because there is only one person doing the loving. Both of you should contribute to making the relationship better. Both of you should be in love with each other.

Beauty of being in Love...

 

 When you are in love you begin a new life together with someone. But being truly in love takes commitment because sometimes the road might not be smooth. But as long as you are one with each other, you can go through anything: a hard terrain, a bad weather, an earthquake and still come out unharmed. Because when you have each other nothing else matters but the two of you.

We live in a world of problems but by being together, you should be able to solve any problem you come across. After all, two brains are better than one. It doesn't matter if you don't have food at home. What matters is that you are not facing the problem alone but with someone in the same situation as you and who is there for you.

Because you have chosen not to live as yourself but as ‘ourselves’ your problem is the other persons problem too. And you’re lucky you don’t have to deal with it alone. Your joy is also their joy and you are lucky you don’t have to celebrate alone.

And also when you are horny you don’t have to waste any more money on vibrators or prostitutes or lose your hand grip.

You don’t have to worry about someone loving you because somebody has already made a commitment to do so. You have someone to share stories with, to share moments with and coupled with marriage, someone to share a family and build the family with.

These things give you a peace of mind and save you a lot of time looking for them and being alone.

Being in love is a wonderful thing and one that should be experienced by all humanity.

But most importantly, being in love should be understood and not taken for granted.

 

SEX, BEAUTY AND BEING IN LOVE

Sex and beauty, help create happiness in a love environment, but they do not constitute being in love.

It takes more than sex and beauty to be in love. And people can fall in love without sex and beauty. These are physical things. Being in love is a deeper inner feeling of security, trust and loyalty, which basically means you have someone to be there for you and support you all the time. This assurance is far much greater than sex and beauty. Because sex and beauty is temporary but being in love lasts ‘forever’. The love will always keep flowing and the feeling will always be there, while beauty and sex fades away.

Note: Being in love is easy; staying in love is hard. It takes commitment, tolerance and a lot of genuine apologies to stay in love.

WHAT MAKES PEOPLE STAY IN LOVE

 Falling in love is easy but staying in love is hard. This requires continuous work. You have to keep working together to protect and maintain your relationship charter. What you enjoyed doing, during the beginning of your relationship, should go on throughout your relationship. You both need to work together to make your relationship better. You can’t just be idle and let your partner do all the work. You have to appreciate each other. Couples that compliment each other stay longer than couples that don’t. Such things as ‘you look beautiful’, ‘that’s a beautiful dress’, ‘I love your hairstyle’, ‘after all these years, I still love the way you walk’, such things should never before forgotten. Whatever you admired about that person when you first met, should continue. Whatever you liked about that person when you first met, should continue. Whatever made you fall in love with that person, should continue.

Normally relationships end because of ‘breach of contract’. You started the relationship based on certain ideas then after some time during the relationship you step away from these ideas. You begin to want something else or you fill unsatisfied. Normally this can be avoided if you took the time to really get to know that person before you started going out.

Most first encounters are based on assumptions and lies. Sometimes the assumptions and lies turn to truth but most times they don’t. So you either have to live with them or move on. Thus when you take your time to get to know someone, you really know them or at least you know them better than if you rushed.

People do sometimes grow out of their initial personalities. They grow to become somebody different from the one you met. They do this naturally and not deliberately. Mostly due to the fact that the really didn’t know what they wanted when they first met you and now they know. So they decide to take another path than yours and you part ways. You can’t do anything about this but you can try to avoid it by knowing someone’s aspirations and goals when you first meet. And if they are not sure what they want then don’t fall in love with them. You risk getting heartbroken if you fall in love with someone who doesn’t know what they want.

Sometimes, especially with girls, they cheat themselves. They meet a guy and even if they know that he isn’t good for them, they keep seeing him in the hope that he will change and they normally never change. If his bad today, he will be bad tomorrow.

Going out with someone who isn’t good for you doesn’t make things better. Some people do it because of the sex involved but then if there’s an attachment involved, someone risks getting hurt. Just because someone is good in bed doesn’t mean that you should get married or start a relationship. It takes more than just sex to maintain a relationship. It takes commitment, trust, love and many more that have already been talked about.

The main reason that makes people stay in love is that being in love is wonderful. The feeling is awesome and the sex amazing. Who wouldn’t want this? But then there also other factors mentioned already that make people stay out of love or fall out of love.

But once properly entered in, being in love can last forever and enjoyed forever. The elements of being in love keep the couple together but those who don’t abide by the elements quickly fall out of love. Thus this book hopes to give people a better understanding of what being in love is, so that they can enjoy it, appreciate it and each other and sustain their relationship.