falling in love with your best briend..

Love. That four letter word that brings so much happiness, so much heartache..but is still so worthwhile. Friendship. That wonderful bonding, that incomparable rush of emotion that cuts across age, race, gender, religion and region. But what happens if you combine the two? Falling in love is complicated enough, so what happens if the object of your affection is your ‘best’ friend?

Friendship blossoming into love is actually a rather common phenomenon. No wonder, considering that friendship is usually built on the platforms of mutual affection, unconditional support, or common interests, backgrounds or circumstances, similar to those that love is built on. Moreover, friends support each other through thick and thin, the good times and the bad and the ups and downs that make up life. Very similar therefore, to the qualities that make up a good mate.

In this context, all it takes is a small spark, to ignite the gentle glow of friendship to the full on flame of passion.

There are many advantages in falling for your best bud. For one, you zip past the 'downside' of dating: Remember the sweaty palms and awkward silences of your first date? Or the constant pressure to present your ‘best’ side? When you're in a romantic relationship with your best friend, you get to relax and just enjoy each other’s company. What’s more, you need not shield those skeletons in your closet 'cause chances are, your friend knows about all of them and loves and accepts you anyway.

However such a situation has a serious downside as well. For example, what if your friend does not share your feelings? What if he/she is so disgusted at your amorous affections that he/she can never look at you the same way again? Or what if things simply don’t work out? These are some serious pitfalls to what might otherwise seem an idyllic scenario. The key question amidst all of this uncertainty is: Is declaring your love to your best friend worth risking the friendship? Tough question but one that definitely needs to be confronted before you take any course of action.

Going forward, the main question is how to broach such a sensitive topic. Will the direct approach of being completely blunt about your feelings be the best approach? Or will the subtle, gradual approach of carefully dropping hints over a certain span of time, be better? Naturally, in matters of the heart there can be no hard and fast rules or foolproof formulae. What’s more, the most important thing while in such a delicate situation is to exercise caution and employ all the sensitivity possible to ensure that things go according to plan.

Here are some helpful tips to keep in mind when dealing with such a dilemma:

1. Assess the situation with a clear head

Although this line of approach may seem pretty much next to impossible when you look at your situation, objectively assessing the situation can make all the difference. Clearly think and list down (preferably in writing) what exactly you feel and expect from the situation. Proceeding without thinking things through can mean making some avoidable mistakes that you might regret later.

2. Prepare yourself for anything

Telling your best friend that you have feelings for him/her means putting your friendship on the line. Perhaps, your friend may return your feelings and the two of you can embark on a romantic relationship. But what if your friend rejects you and wants to continue being strictly friends? You need to be ready to accept whatever the outcome.

3. Test the waters

Observe your friend carefully, (though covertly). Is he/she emotionally available to you? Is he/she interested in someone else or simply ‘off’ love? You will have to judge to the best of your knowledge whether or not your friend is ready to take your friendship to the next level.

4. Time your move

In life, everything is about timing. When you make your move is as crucial as how you make it. Don’t spring your feelings to your friend during a rough work week or a family emergency. Instead, ensure that the object of your affection is in a receptive frame of mind before you proceed further.

5. Make your move

Use your imagination. A wise man once said "Love is all about the grand gestures". Think big. Think personal. Express your feelings in a manner that encapsulates your feelings in all their splendour. Go that extra mile - it's sure to be worth it in the end.

6. Face the consequences

Accept both victory and defeat with grace. If your friend responds positively - take things slow and savour each moment of your time together. If he/she turns you down, preserve the friendship. Just because you two can’t have romantic love together, doesn’t mean you have to throw away the friendship.

Ultimately, remember whatever the outcome of your ‘coming clean’, come what may, you will always have precious memories of your time together to cherish forever!

long distance relationships

Most people have their own views and opinions of Long Distance
Relationships, but you cannot clearly understand the concept until you have
been in this type of situation. 

Technology has found a way to connect people together from
all over the world, resulting in more long distance relationships than ever
before. You can meet someone online, in a chat room, through a dating or social
networking site, Skype; the possibilities are endless. Soon enough, you are
learning more about this other person than you know about your next door neighbour,
which results in a strong, deep connection. Both men and women alike have the
ability to form strong emotional attachments to another person, when bearing
your soul and being yourself. 

You meet someone online, who could live 500 miles away from
you, and you begin telling that person all about yourself. Why not? No real
risk involved. If the person doesn't like what they are hearing about you, who
cares. It's not as if you are ever going to meet the person anyway, you don't
even know them. But what happens when that same person enjoys everything you
have to say, and begins telling you about themselves in return? 

Before you know it, you have told your entire life story, including
things your best friend’s don't even know, to someone you considered a stranger
a few days ago. You find yourself hopping online a lot more often, in
hopes of chatting it up with your new friend. In a short period of time, you
begin talking to this person more than you talk to anyone else in your life,
including those you see often. A strong attachment/bond begins to form between
the two of you, and you are quickly falling in love. 

Now what?

The best kinds of relationships are those built upon emotional
connection, rather than physical. You can be physically attracted to any random
person you meet, but overtime, that attraction is going to fade and you will
realize there is nothing there emotionally. Getting to truly know
someone takes a lot of time and effort, and is easy to do when all you have for
communication is the Internet and/or phone calls. You will come to realize that
it is much easier to fall in love with someone through conversation than it is
to fall in love with someone you are physically with. But can a long distance relationship
actually work out in the end?

 Yes and No. 

First of all, you have to actually intend on meeting the
person at some point. It doesn't necessarily have to be right away, but I’d say
within a year, the two of you should start planning a meet up. Second of all, long
distance relationships will only work when both partners are truly mature
adults, knowing exactly what they are looking for. If you are a High School
Student, or even most College aged, these types of relationships will usually
fail. Eventually, you are going to get tired of not being with your
partner physically, and that's when you will look elsewhere. It's only natural.

Long Distance Relationships require a lot of patience, will power, and
effort on both partners. If you have what it takes, then A LDR will definitely
work in your favour, and may even end up being the greatest love story you will
ever have.

The role of parents in child's romantic relationships!

Attachment styles or emotional connections between child and parent have been a hot topic in the field of psychology. Research has found evidence of the importance of healthy, secure attachment relationships between child and parent on the child’s life.

Recently, research went further to examine how the quality of parent relationships during adolescence influences later romantic attachment styles and quality of romantic interactions in early adulthood. Researchers found that positive parent-child interactions around the ages of 15 and 19 years old predicted secure romantic attachment at age 25 and above. Secure romantic attachment included the ability and desire to maintain close and intimate relationships.

This finding implies that parents have a tremendous influence on their child’s life even after the child has left the house to go out into the world. The relationship between child and parent in youth and adolescence creates a foundation for the child in their future romantic relationships.

 It is crucial to establish this relationship during this time because parental influence decreases as the child enters adulthood. In addition, research has found that positive romantic interactions at age 25 contributed to healthy attachment at age 27.

 This fact places even more emphasis on healthy relationships between child and parent because a positive relationship will lead to strong romantic relationships, which will help the child develop a secure romantic attachment in general.

For example, research has suggested that poor marital adjustment is associated with earlier difficulties in relationships with parents. Poor romantic relationships lead to the development of an insecure or negative attachment style, which may create a pattern for entering into bad romantic relationships.

So parents, if you would like to see your child or teenager in a great romantic relationship in the future, then it is time to start building a positive, healthy relationship with your child.

Communication will be key to building this relationship – you both need to understand where the other is coming from. Every child is different so understanding his or her differences and special quirks will be beneficial. Adolescence is a difficult time with plenty of development and inner struggles, not to mention a surge of hormones racing through the body.

Teens will try your patience, but love and understanding will go a long way in trying to battle through this time. However, structure and guidance will still play an important role in teaching teens about decision-making and relationships.

Not only are healthy parent-child relationships beneficial for the child’s future romantic relationships, but it will also make life more pleasant for both sides if you enjoy one another in life. However, even the best relationships will have their moments. Like a mother’s new favourite phrase “you were a great kid but I sure do love having adult children”. So next time your child asks why you have to bond and talk about life together, simply tell her that you are saving her from a life of bad boyfriends!

How Men Fall in Love

The feelings of love may be the same for both sexes but the stages of love are an entirely unique experience. Understand how men think and how men fall in love.

 When women fall in love, it’s filled with bursts of happiness and miss-you texts.

When men fall in love, well, it’s just different. So how do men fall in love and what really goes on in a man’s mind?

For men, falling in love is a happy experience, but love doesn’t really kick in for a while.

While women may experience an intense surge of affections as soon as they meet a guy they like, the mind of men doesn’t really work that way.

  Find out how men fall in love and the different stages they experience here.

  How men fall in love– The seven stages of love

  Stage 1 –Appreciation

This is all about physical appearance and instant attraction. Now this should clear the doubts out for women though. Men are rather shallow when it comes to getting attracted at first sight.

While women may fall in love in the first conversation, men are attracted to a woman only for her physical aspects, and nothing else.

 Physical appearance is paramount for men, but it may not necessarily be the entire package. Each guy has his own preferences in what he likes about a woman, be it her face, her legs, her smile or even the way she runs her hands through her hair.

A guy may not even know what it is about a girl that he likes, but if he finds something attractive in her, he may experience the appreciation stage.

Stage 2 – Infatuation

Men appreciate a lot of women on a daily basis. They try to steal second glances or get a girl’s attention all the time. But it’s not always a success, either because he’s not trying hard enough or because the woman’s just not interested in him. The infatuation stage of how men fall in love is also the wooing stage of love for men in the dating game.

A man may appreciate a lot of women, but he doesn’t really get infatuated by all of them. If he appreciates a woman, and is interested in wooing her or pursuing her, he enters into the infatuation phase.

A man may pursue a woman in various ways, but if she doesn’t accept his advances he usually forgets the girl as just another attractive girl he wanted to go out with. It’s easier for a man to like a girl one day and forget he ever liked her the next because he has so many stages to deal with before he even makes up his mind on falling in love.
 
Stage 3 – Attraction

If an attractive girl reciprocates to a guy’s advances, he enters into the attraction stage of love. Until this stage, a guy can walk away from a girl without any pain or heartbreak even if the girl rejects him. He’s not really trying too hard, and he’s not really fallen in love to care about a rejection when he’s just trying to get lucky.

But if a girl does show the slightest sign of reciprocation or interest in the guy, or even if he assumes she’s into him, the guy digs deep into this stage, the attraction stage. In this stage, he decides to pursue the girl and make her like him.

Stage 4 – Impression

Understanding how men fall in love is complicated stuff, but quite frankly, he’s nowhere close to falling in love right now even in this stage. All he wants to do is make the girl like him. He shows off his mating potential to her. He plans dates and splurges on gifts to please the girl. He’s definitely not in love, but he does want something good to come out of this stage of impressions.

Stage 5 – Conviction
 
If a guy’s successfully breezing through the different stages of love, he’d start to wonder if there’s something more in the air. But instead of falling in love with the girl, all he’s worried about is how to convince the girl to fall in love with him.

He would really like the girl in this stage and would definitely want to go out with her, but the uncertainty would still confuse him and he would not be at ease until he’s certain the girl likes him.

This stage is especially prominent when a guy falls in love with a friend. He can’t really try to impress her by buying gifts or taking her out on dates, but yet, he wouldn’t be able to stop pondering over how to convince the girl to go out with him. In this stage, all a guy cares about is how to get the girl to like him.

Stage 6 –Reaffirmation

If he’s able to convince the girl and make her fall in love with him, he’s a happy man. He likes where the dating game is heading.

But until now, in his pursuit of getting the girl to like him, he’s not asked himself if he really likes the girl and whether he actually wants to go out with her. Until this stage of love, getting the girl to like him was a goal he’s been focused on. Once the girl is in love with him, only then does a man seriously start to consider if he wants to have a relationship with the girl who now loves him.

It’s a selfish move, but it’s something evolution has taught all male species. “Don’t waste time thinking. Spend your time searching for more places to bust a nut.”

Now that the girl is in love with him, he takes a couple of days to sit back and weigh the pros and the cons of being in a relationship with that girl. Does he really love the girl too? Will he be happy with her? Is she the woman he wants and needs?

Stage 7 – He’s ready to love

If a man’s convinced that he truly likes the girl and wants to be with her, he enters this final stage of love where he’s ready to fall in love with the girl. On the other hand, if he’s not really convinced that the girl is the right mate for him, he may start avoiding her or losing interest in pleasing her because of his confusion.

Ever dated a really great guy who started behaving like a jerk a couple of weeks into love? Well, you know what happened now, don’t you?

Turning the game in your favor

How men fall in love with a woman is annoying. And it’s more annoying to know that men have to actually make women fall in love with them before they even think about going out with you, but that’s the way men fall in love and they really have no choice about it.

But if you really want to beat the guy in his own game, don’t make it obvious that you really like him at the very first instant. Keep it simple and play hard to get for a while.

It’ll make him work harder to win your love, and when he does finally win you over, he’ll never ever want to leave you because you’re such a tough catch to get or let go!

Well, you may now know how men fall in love with women and the seven stages of love for a man, but if you want to win his heart over and make him want you, always remember to make him work for your affection