Biblical Lessons on Relationships

Lessons from the Heart, by Bishop T.D. Jakes

The Bible, the world's most read book, sets forth the greatest story ever told. It is a love story unlike no other, underscored by the countless demonstrations of God's love for man.

The cross is one of the world's most visibly recognized icons with its vertically pointing element representing this quintessential union between God and man. It is the intersecting horizontal plane symbolizing the day-to-day relationships among humans that especially benefit from the guidance found in the "Inspired Word of God."

Read on..

1. Overcoming Our Differences in Relationships.

The art of relationships requires that a man who is very different from his woman finds common ground with her and vice versa. We are meant to balance each other by attracting people whose strengths may be our weaknesses. Together as a result of our differences and unique distinctions, we complement each other. Understanding only comes when you stand under a real desire to know, love, and comprehend the other person, embracing the uniqueness of who they are.

2. Healthy Relationships Require Emotional and Spiritual Freedom.

You often won't know what you have, let alone need, in your life until you clear the mental and emotional room to experience the here and now. We don't have to stay buried under the past or cycles of mistakes, even though it may seem insurmountable. You can move on with your life. You have to keep your mental and emotional house clean and in order. Praying, journaling, mediation, and exercise are common ways for you to be sure your emotional issues of the past aren't seeping into your current relationships.

3. It Takes Courage to Really Love Someone.

Deciding to love gets harder as you get older. It's more and more difficult to fall in love because your "faller" gets broken. We've all had relationships that didn't work out for one reason or another. The loss of a relationship can be a traumatic experience and can affect us in our lives for months and sometimes for years. You need to understand what role you played in the relationship's demise, and work to come to peace with your partner's behavior as well as your own. No matter what has happened to you, the only hope of a healthy future relationship is to let go of the past.

4. Healthy Compromise in Relationships.

Negotiating win-win possibilities in relationships often means seeing things through the eyes of the others involved in the situation or problem. In most cases of healthy compromise, both parties feel they are "right." Healthy compromise is the hallmark of healthy relationships. The Lord's peace often results when each side comes close to His viewpoint, His perfect plan for both parties. We cannot remain so entrenched in our view that we cannot change or adapt, and we must know when not to compromise too far.

5. Safeguarding Your Relationships.

In order to maximize your life and relationships, you have to minimize your load. You must focus on what's important when it comes to your relationships. Lightening your load means knowing when to release things. Most of don't realize that the key to release ourselves is within our own hands. You can move ahead and conserve your strength for things that count, things you can change, things you can control. Have the wisdom to see the importance of giving you all to your relationships today!

6. Evaluate Who You Are.

When you see yourself as valuable enough to deserve love and attention from the other person, you form a boundary that you will not compromise. A little self-esteem goes a long way in garnering the courage to ask and answer questions that reveal who you really are and what you really want. Once you look realistically at who you really are and what you desire in a healthy relationship, you are ready to enter into the research that will lead to sound decisions.

Love is never for granted..

Beautiful story.....
 

A very poor man lived with his wife...
 

One day, his wife, who had very long hair asked him to buy her a
... comb for her hair to grow well and to be well-groomed...
 

The man felt very sorry and said, "NO" He explained that he did not even
have enough money to fix the strap of his watch he had just broken...

She did not insist on her request.. The man went to work and passed
by a watch shop, sold his damaged watch at a low price and went to buy a comb for
his wife...

He came home in the evening with the comb in his hand ready to give
to his wife... He was surprised when he saw his wife with a very short hair cut..

She had sold her hair and was holding a new watch band..

Tears flowed simultaneously from their eyes, not for the futility of their actions...
but, for the reciprocity of their love...

MORAL: To love is nothing, to be loved is something but to love and to be loved by the one
you love, that is EVERYTHING...

Never take love for granted...

commitment in a relationship

Commitment cannot be a single minded decision, with one partner issuing all the rules and conformities, it has to be a mutual agreement of needs and requirements in a future you want to share together, with commitment levels you present to each other open to compromise and discussion.

Pre-conceived ideas or fears about commitment is understandable and is essentially preparing you to understanding the difference between promise and commitment.

Assess and judge the relationship's progress with an honest appraisal before you attempt to discuss any commitments or the future of the relationships development. Only then can you have the desired deeper level of the relationship and share honest and fulfilling commitments to each other and nurture the relationships values. Commitment in a relationship has to be a pathway that is mutually acceptable to both of you and at levels that you can both honour and fulfil. 

1. Love and respect – for each other and your individual philosophies on life and love. Ignoring your partner’s hopes and dreams just because they may differ to yours or trying to cancel or absorb someone’s personality is neither love nor respect. A progressive growing of love and respect between two people sharing their lives but retaining their individuality is more healthy and fulfilling.

2. Loyalty – to each other and the relationship, promises of exclusive dating–some couples see this as the only commitment needed within a successful relationship, it isn’t a standalone commitment, but it still remains an ultimate commitment. Any commitments made with the absence of loyalty will appear to be nothing but hollow, broken promises. What if your partner has hinted, or even made it obvious that they have known other partners better than they know you. This could be an admission of not being sure about the depth of the relationship or a criticism of your role and actions, prompting the outspoken comparisons. If he/she has talked about, or admitted wanting to get to know other different partners better, this issue needs to be addressed to discover what has instigated these comments and desires.

3. Honesty – About your feelings, fears and insecurities, honesty about the relationship and your expectations. Revelations about your past, what you want to achieve in life, job prospects and career prospects that could affect your future together. Financial burdens or financial expectations, the issue of children, are all important decisions that you both have to make regarding the future. It is unacceptable and selfish to arrogantly think that someone can be compromised into radically changing their beliefs to suit you at a later date. This is dishonest and will be seen as outright dismissal and betrayal of individual views and feelings.

4. Spending time together – This also encompasses your personal levels of acceptable commitment to each other’s feelings and needs in the relationship. You may be perfectly happy to spend every waking moment with each other; alternatively you may be just as happy and comfortable with a more relaxed amount of time you spend in each other’s company. It does not mean the relationship is any less intimate or meaningful. Don’t be tempted to use time spent together as a template to compare with other relationships, what makes you happy is the only important issue and how much you desire to retain your independence and individuality inside the relationship.

5. Being there for each other – supporting each other through different stages of your lives, emotionally and physically, through good times and times of crisis. Emotional, practical and financial support should be a natural evolvement in any relationship and not a hardship to deliver as a commitment, strengthening the relationship with unparalleled protection and support for each other.

6. Trust – Without trust no relationship can survive, do you feel comfortable enough with the level of trust in the relationship, to admit to other relationships and why they failed without any fear of backlash or recriminations. Trusting each other when you are not together is a huge area for differences of opinion as to what is the appropriate level of trust before it becomes suspicious and obsessive jealousy. Trust levels need to be tested and established with practical aspects of the relationship, trust with finances, with children, with secrets, with family decisions and personal choices.

7. Living together - This is big, decision making, forward step in the relationship, deciding to move in together, even though you know it was a comfortable mutual decision a temporary assimilation period is inevitable, but this will be a passing phase. Hopefully, before you instigated this commitment the pro’s and con’s of moving in and living together have been discussed, and the shared financial implications and responsibilities should, sensibly, have been decided before moving in together, not after when it will be the cause of unnecessary arguments.

8. Buying property together – by the time you get to this stage in discussing further commitments of this scale, you must be comfortable with other commitments in your relationship that have been established and already working well over a long term period, because this is a big financial commitment to embark on, a joint venture that is one of the major commitments.

9. Getting engaged - Another major commitment decision, a promise of engagement used to be liable to legal consequences of a breach of contract if the engagement was broken or withdrawn. Engagement announcements are a public mutual admission of your intention to commit to each other by taking the first step towards announcing marriage intentions. Newspaper announcements make it a public notification and celebrating with family and friends confirms your commitment to each other.

10. Proposal of marriage– this is a proposed intent of the ultimate future commitment to a life together. This is proposing a legally binding contract of commitment and has legal consequences if rules are broken or abused. Marriage is a public declaration of your commitments to one person and both of you committing your life together in a ceremony of confirmation.