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Friday, November 23, 2012

80 years of Marriage..




On Nov. 25, 1932, FDR had just defeated Herbert Hoover, the daily newspaper cost two cents, and Ann Shawah said "I do" to John Betar in Harrison, N.Y.
Fast forward through 13 presidents and 80 years to 2012: the Betars are still happily married. After five children, 14 grandchildren and 16 great children, the couple from Fairfield, Conn., will celebrate their 80th wedding anniversary Sunday.
"We are so blessed. We are fortunate," John Betar, 101, said.
"We are very fortunate. It can be repeated and repeated," Ann, 97, echoed.
"It is unconditional love and understanding. We have had that. We consider it a blessing."
Humble Beginnings
John Betar met Ann Shawah growing up in the same Syrian community in Bridgeport, Conn. Betar immigrated to America as a young child in 1921 with his brother, he explained, joining his father who put down roots for them in Bridgeport. After attending grammar school, Betar began working as a fruit peddler and met Ann Shawah, the daughter of Syrian immigrants, in the neighborhood.
"I fell for her right away," he said. "I used to have a Ford Roaster and I used to pick her and her friends and drive them to high school. Gradually she liked me and we got together."
It was slightly more complicated than that. Ann was arranged to be married to another man, 20 years her senior, whom her parents thought would be the best provider for their daughter. The 17-year-old was less than pleased with the arrangement and taken with Betar, then 21. Breaking with tradition and going against her family's wishes, the two eloped.
"At 17, you wonder if you're making the right choice," she said. "I had grown up with him and we had good times together and we knew each other very well. And it's turned out to be 80 years. ….God seems to have been with us. And we've been very fortunate and wonderful."
The two built a life together, a home, a family and lived out their own version of the American dream. Betar continued peddling fruit and in 1938, opened up his own grocery store, Betar's Market, in the south end of Bridgeport.
"We worked hard and never got tired of making money," he said. "This is the land of opportunity."
Ann stayed at home and raised their children. "She was a great mother," Betar said. "She raised five children and she was a wonderful caretaker."

Five children spawned 14 grandchildren and 16 great children. The couple said the later generations "bring new life" and light into their lives.
"Last year at [John's] 100th birthday party ... there was group of little 2 year olds and 5 year olds and a group that's just turning 19 and 20," Ann recalled. "We had it at the beach and we had fireworks. It was very special. The younger children went out on the beach and wrote 'Happy Birthday Jiddo,' [Grandpa in Arabic], in the sand, all along the beach. ... How can you not feel God's right with you and blessing you?"
Along with joyous moments and good memories like this one came bad times for the Betars.
"The hardest thing in our life was losing two of our children. That's the sad part. It's one of the worst thing a parent can face is losing a child, no matter how old they are or how young they are," Ann said.
But despite the trying moments that can test or break a marriage, the two have stayed together.
"There are so many things in a lifetime that can make you very, very happy and very, very sad, but if you can do it together then it's happiness," Ann said.
That's easier said than done for many couples today in the U.S. where the divorce rate hovers around 40 to 50 percent. What's their secret?
"They have this wonderful ability to accept life as it comes," their daughter Renee Betar said. "They have a way of trying to look around at the things that they do have -- the family and the blessings. They came from a generation where there is such respect for each other and caring."
The Betars consider themselves "fortunate." Hesitant to dole out advice to newlyweds, they each offered simple, guiding mantras to a lasting marriage.
"Get along. Compromise. Live within your means and be content," Betar said, before adding, "And let your wife be the boss."
"We don't have bosses," she said. Her advice: don't hold a grudge.
"You know what your commitments are and you try to live by them and understand one another. If you don't hold a grudge, you can face anything," Ann said.
The couple still lives independently on the beach in Fairfield and has kept active, pushing the boundaries of aging. In their later years, Ann discovered a hidden talent as an artist and took up painting in oils and watercolors. The two cook soup together, always from scratch. (The retired fruit peddler-turned-grocer continues to make outings to shop for the best produce and can't help but dispense recommendations to fellow customers at the store, his daughter reports, saying: "Oh no, don't buy that tomato if you want to eat it tonight.") They spend their days reading and proudly keeping up with what's going on in the world.
Celebrating 80 Years of Marriage
On Sunday, the couple will mark their 80th wedding anniversary with a quiet celebration surrounded by family and friends at the St. Nicholas Antiochian Orthodox Church in Bridgeport, where they are original founding members.
Ann said one of her daughters ordered a cake for the occasion and the baker called back, slightly confused, to confirm that it should read -- "Happy 80th Anniversary" instead of "Happy 80th Birthday."
After eighty years, Betar is still sweet on his bride and she is still sweet on him.
"He is a wonderful man. He is a very giving man to his children, to his family, to people that need it. He is a very generous, giving man," she said. "Can you blame me for living with him for 80 years?"
To the later generations of children and grandchildren, the Betars serve as role models for how to live and love in life.

"I'm always blown away by their incredible optimism, deep sense of compassion and modesty," said granddaughter Heather Mitchell of Fairfield, Conn. "They are true beacons -- inspirational people who emit such joy without even knowing it."

Teenage & Parenting..Obama's example


How Malia Obama has blossomed from an awkward teen to America's next style icon as she follows in the First Lady's footsteps:

Story courtesy - Daily Mail Reporter

Looking every bit as poised and elegant as her mother, the long-limbed first daughter has taken the awkward out of adolescence with ease.
In the weeks since election night, the emerging styles of the Obama daughters, and especially Malia, has taken center stage - the 14-year-old blossoming from the President's wide-eyed 'baby' into a self-assured young woman who has inherited her mother's confidence, bold fashion sense and looks.

Wearing a shiny blue full skirt from ASOS with a neon pink Zara belt, and J. Crew flats, Malia proved she has inherited her mother's classic but bold sensibility on election night - seamlessly following in her well-heeled footsteps.

Malia, standing nearly as tall as her 5-foot-11 mother, now carries herself with confidence, striding alongside her mother like two-peas-in-a-poised-pod.

Unlike many teens unused to their new height, she shows no trace of awkwardness or embarrassment, instead, she embraces her lean figure with smart, yet bang-on-trend, wardrobe choices.

Since turning 14 on Independence Day, she has slowly started to tick off some age-appropriate milestones - like her first mobile phone.
Mrs Obama admitted in June that she ‘scared the heck’ out of Malia with ‘days of lectures’ on the dangers of talking to strangers before handing the device over.
He admitted in an interview last year, before her two-inch growth spurt: 'Even though she's 5ft 9in, she's still my baby. And she just got braces, which is good, because she looks like a kid and she was getting ... she's starting to look too old for me.
One occasion in particular came as a shock, as Mrs Obama revealed on The View.
She said: 'He says he's cool, but you know... The first time Malia went out for a party and she was dressed, she had her hair done and she's tall, she had on a pretty dress, you could see him, he was sort of like... gulp. And I was like, "Easy dad."'
President Obama often talks highly of his two children, saying they are kind, respectful, responsible and well-behaved girls.
‘I could not ask for better kids, he told ABC News in June. ‘I'm not anticipating complete mayhem for the next four, five years. But I understand teenage-hood is complicated. I should also point out that I have men with guns that surround them often.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Relationship Tips...

 
Too many people are in relationships where they are blaming the other person for all their problems. Men, women, we all do it, but it's doesn't make for a healthy relationship. Making a relationship better though, can actually be quite simple. Ignore all the stuff that isn't really important and concentrate on the small little things that are. A healthy relationship can be yours, if you just follow these simple better relationship tips. You might be surprised at what happens!

1. Don't Say Things in Anger - We've all done it. Lost our temper in the middle of a fight with a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife and shouted something we later regret. The first tip to help get a better relationship is simple. Don't say things in anger, because I'll guarantee you will regret them later. Take a deep breath, calm down and, once you're calm and had time to think, tell your partner what's really making you angry. Surprisingly, you'll often find out it's not the thing you thought it was, and you won't have to regret saying that it was.

2. Trust Your Partner - So many times I hear people complaining about their relationships, and then I realize they don't trust their partner. Never have. Without trust, a relationship will never be a healthy one. So, until you know any different, trust that what your partner is telling you and doing can be trusted. Men especially need to be trusted; it's the cornerstone of any healthy relationship with a woman. Trust him, and you could be shocked at how much healthier your relationship suddenly becomes because, after all, if you don't trust someone, they often start to do things you accused them of. After all, if you think they're doing it, they might as well. Right?

3. Be Complimentary - People love compliments, but very few of us in relationships actually give them. Men and women love compliments so give them freely. Men especially love to get compliments as, more than women, they very rarely receive them. Make a vow to yourself. Give your partner a new compliment at least two or three times a week and see how quickly your relationship will become better.

4. Stand Up To Your Partner - Don't let yourself be trodden on or rode roughshod over by your partner. Stand up for yourself and don't accept bad behaviour. Surprisingly, the less you put up with bad behaviour, the less likely you are to get it. Men and women respect people who respect themselves so stand up for yourself and your partner will respect you more too.

5. Always Think of 'We' - Too many people in relationships think about 'me' and not 'we'. A relationship is made up of two people. Make sure you make decisions that are healthy for both of you and your relationship will automatically become a better one.

6. Talk to Each Other - The best relationship advice in the world is this - talk to each other. When you've got problems or concerns, or things just don't seem to be going right, don't talk to your friends, talk to each other. Nobody else, except the people in the relationship really know what's going on in it or understands what the problems are. Talk to each other, don't hide anything, and work things out together.

7. Don't Treat Your Partner like The Enemy - So many people treat their girlfriends and boyfriends, husbands and wives, like the enemy. They're not. They're actually supposed to love you and you they so, if you're treating your partner like the enemy, stop it! Treat him or her like an ally and, unsurprisingly, they'll probably become one.

8. Talk about Your Partner the Way You Want Him/her To Be - People usually become what we tell them they are. If we tell them they're "stupid", "lazy", "rude", "disrespectful", then that's what they usually become. But, if you are constantly telling them they are "smart", "handsome", "kind" and "a good person", fascinatingly, that's what they become. Never tell your partner that he or she is something negative or you may get what you didn't wish for.

9. Nagging is the Worst Thing You Can Do - Most men who have affairs often say it's because they lived with a nagger. Nothing they ever did was right, and most of it was wrong. Imagine going home every day and being told exactly what you're doing wrong. It's not surprising that many men have affairs because they want to be with someone who makes them feel good about themselves. When you feel yourself nagging, stop it. Nagging is absolute poison to a relationship and, besides, you married a grown-up right? So why do you suddenly have to become his mother?

10. Spend Time Together - Too many people are so obsessed with making money and buying stuff, they don't spend enough time with their partner. Spend quality time every day with your partner, even if it's just watching a TV show together, doing the dishes together, or putting the kids to bed together. It's the little things in a healthy relationship that keep it healthy but spending time together is a big one.

These tips are just a few things you should do if you want to be in a healthy relationship. Relationship advice is all very good but, if you don't follow it, or don't treat your partner like a human being then your relationship will fail.

A better relationship can be just as easy as being kind, respectful and complimentary, and being your partner's friend. What's really sad is many of us treat our partners worse than we treat our friends. Think about how you treat your best friend and start treating your partner the same way and your relationship could be a healthy one in no time.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Relationship Tip:

 
 
 


 
In a relationship you need someone who will fight WITH you and not AGAINST you!