secrets in relationships...

Everyone has a few secrets.

In close relationships, people keep secrets because they are embarrassed or fearful of a partner's hostility and possible rejection.

Research shows that it is often in one's interest to keep some things private, especially when romantic partners are likely to respond poorly to the truth. Being rejected, scorned, or stigmatized does not help anyone work through a serious issue.

But, keeping secrets can also be harmful.

·         Keeping secrets often prevents people from dealing with the problem at hand.

·         Keeping secrets leads to increased stress, anxiety, and

·         It often makes people think about the issue (event or topic) more frequently.

For instance, people who have a secret crush on someone often dwell on their feelings more than people who are able to talk about such things out in the open. Keeping secrets can make things seem more important than they really are.

Likewise, revealing secrets is very helpful when it is done right; that is, in a safe, non-judgmental environment. Revealing secrets can reduce stress, it helps people let go of an issue and think about it more clearly.

If a secret is bothering you, it really does help to get it out - as long as people don't respond negatively or use the information against you.

In fact, research shows that the simple task of writing down a secret, even if no one ever reads it, makes people feel better. Writing a secret down is cathartic - it reduces stress and anxiety.

Think about it!