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REASONS TO NEVER CHEAT ON YOUR SPOUSE
Cheating seems to be so prevalent today that the question isn’t who
is cheating but rather – who isn’t?
1. You will become a liar.
It’s bad enough to bear the title of “Cheater,” but if you cheat, you
will also wear the hat of “Liar.” Cheating cannot occur without deceit on some
level and normally the white lies in the beginning become full-fledged lies at
the end. “I’m working late at the office tonight” may be a half-truth but
you’ll need to redefine the word “working” to silence your compromised
conscience. Cheating and lying go hand in hand.
2. You will get caught.
It may not be today or tomorrow. But eventually, your affair will come
to light. Your world will come crashing down on you. If you are fortunate, the
story of your indiscretion may avoid the evening news or the front page of your
local paper, but your circle of friends will know your deeds. And everyone
likes to share juicy news.
3. You will disappoint everyone.
Everyone. Your spouse. Your friends. Your co-workers. Your parents. Your
nephew. Your children. God. Yourself.
4. You will be a bad example.
We're either a good example or a bad example in all things that we
do. Cheating is a not only a very bad example in relationships but brings with
it a cloud of doubt that hovers over you in other areas of your life. If you
cheated in one area, would you cheat in another? Cheating communicates to
everyone that you took the easy road. It tells others that you were willing to
cut corners in your most primary relationship. It reveals that you were not
willing to do the hard work and get the help you needed. No one ever admires a
cheater. Even if you did a lifetime of good, this one bad deed can erase it
all.
5. You will lose your moral authority.
It’s hard to tell your children (or others) to do the right thing when
they know you didn’t. Saying “Do as I say, not as I do” is the fastest way to
lose the respect of others. Not only will you lose their respect, you’ll lose
yours. Every moral judgment you make in the future will be weighed against your
cheating action of the past. It doesn’t mean you can’t speak the truth in
the future, it just means that few will listen to you.
6. You will create trust issues for your spouse.
Forever. You will single-handedly damage the precious self-esteem of the
one you promised to love. Every relationship they have after you will be one
that they struggle to trust. If that were not enough, you will rock the world
of children and cause them to question the stability of every meaningful
relationship they have. For children, their parents relationship is their
anchor and cheating cuts the line.
7. You will lose your standard of living.
Depending on what you do for a living, you may lose your job. Many lose
their home. Most end up with enormous court fees since cheating is usually the
precursor to divorce. Betrayed spouses have a way of making you pay and that
payment is always expensive. Every check you write is a constant reminder of
your foolishness.
8. You will spend years trying to rebuild your life.
Literally years. Even if you somehow weathered the storm financially,
you will find it takes years for you to recover emotionally. It takes years for
you to restore certain friendships, if you even do. It takes years for you to
rebuild your character. It takes years to rebuild trust. It takes years to
truly forgive yourself.
9. You will lose relationships.
You will lose a LOT of relationships. Lifelong friends will walk away.
Close friends that you have helped countless times will not be around to help
you. Even some family members who are supposed to love you no matter what will
vanish. A cheater can end up living a very lonely life. It’s hard for many
people who used to call you friend to get past that skunk smell of
disappointment.
10. You will increase your chances of getting an STD.
Sexually transmitted diseases run rampant among promiscuous people. But
your paramour is “clean,” right? After all, they told you so. And if there is
one thing we all know – we can trust a cheater and their word. As the saying
goes, “There is honor among thieves.” One helpful thought may be to assume that
everyone but your spouse has an STD. That should curb your appetite for
destruction.
11. The grass is not greener on the other side.
The “grass is greener” idea is a common misconception. Because we have
never been on that grass, we assume it must be better than where we currently
stand. It’s not. In fact, though it may look greener from a distance – once you
get there and make yourself comfortable, something interesting happens – the
grass changes color. This usually happens soon after you get caught.
12. You will then see that patch of land differently.
You will also have a strange desire for the green grass you left… except
now it is burned and won’t let you back. The best way to enjoy green grass is
to water your own yard. Would you want this done to you? Thieves like to
steal wallets but hate when it’s done to them. If we all lived by the Golden
Rule (“Treat others the way you want to be treated.”) most of life’s problems
would be solved overnight. Think about this action as if it were being done to
you. The problem is that it requires thought and thinking is often the last
thing a cheater has on his/her mind.
13. You will eventually regret this decision.
In the heat of the moment, cheating appears to make sense. It feels good
and sometimes even feels right. Feelings are deceitful. Soon afterward, your
eyes will be opened and you will regret that you ever partook of the forbidden
fruit. Don’t we all have enough regrets in our lives? Why add another one –
particularly one that can only destroy everything you have worked so hard to
build? Your home may not be perfect but it sure beats living in a tent.
14. The pain outweighs the gain.
No one ever says from their deathbed, I wish I had an affair. No one
ever leaves their lawyer’s office with a smile on their face – grateful for the
experience. No one loses dear friends and is glad they have one less Christmas
card to receive this year. The loss is immeasurable. The pain can be
unbearable. Entire kingdoms can be lost for a few minutes of pleasure. It is
just not worth it.
I’ve come
to learn that we all fall, just in different ways.
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